On the Road With Jess, Alyssa & Kyle

…is a motherfucking bad idea.

We knew this, but the BART closes so early that we decided to drive to City Lights Bookstore in North Beach last night. It was a bitch finding parking. Eventually we found a spot but it was on a hill: a small hill by San Francisco standards, but a hill nonetheless. We parallel parked with much difficulty, Kyle and I both getting out of the car to help Alyssa navigate. Every time she’d try to go in reverse the car would slide forward and come a hair’s width of smashing into the BMW in front of us. Finally we just left it there, the back tire all the way up on the sidewalk, only a few inches between our front bumper and their back one. We hoped that when we came back it’d be moved.

We went to City Lights and I wrote this there. It’s vaguely emo, read at your own risk. Alyssa bought some books and though it was wonderful in a dramatically different way, it still felt wonderful.

Of course when we got back to our spot the car in front was still there. It was literally impossible to attempt to readjust our car without hitting the one in front of us. Finally Kyle suggested that we put it into neutral and he and I try to push it a little bit more up the hill while Alyssa manned the break. We found some innocent bystander eating pizza and he lent us some much needed muscle. We did it! We pushed the car a foot or so up the hill and then immediately smacked the E break on.

We were relieved. But then — the car wouldn’t turn on and the steering column was locked! I don’t know what that means really, but the steering wheel wouldn’t move, and that’s what AAA called it when I dialed their emergency number to get car help. They told us to jiggle it a little while attempting to turn the keys in the ignition. Luckily it started without a AAA team having to be dispatched to help.

So we learned what we kind of always knew: DO NOT DRIVE A STICK CAR IN SAN FRANCISCO. Seriously. Don’t.

-Jess